How can I tell if I'm a writer?

A quiz for the brave, ambitious and feeble-minded

1. You embarrass yourself in public. What do you do next?
a. Run home and cry.
b. Pretend it never happened.
c. Write about it, then publish it for all the world to see .

2. You buy a new book and the first thing you do when you arrive home is...
a. Place it in the bookcase.
b. Show your partner, child or pet.
c. Sniff the pages.

3. When you attend writers' festivals you carry...
a. A box of tissues.
b. A glass of champagne.
c. A notebook.

4. You keep hordes of paper-clips in your desk drawer so you can...
a. Keep several pages together.
b. Magnify them and watch them jump together.
c. Play with them when you are stuck for ideas.

5. You get sweaty palms when...
a. A gorgeous jogger goes past your house.
b. You watch a romantic movie.
c. Someone from the library telephones you.

6. When you are invited to a launch you...
a. Tell friends you have been asked to watch a rocket take off.
b. Bring your camera because you've never seen a human cannonball.
c. Hope people will assume you are a writer.

7. You think three people are...
a. A trio.
b. A nuisance.
c. A crowd.

8. When you are alone you...
a. Meditate.
b. Phone your mother.
c. Practise signing your autograph.

9. You receive a wad of junk mail, so you...
a. Ditch it in the bin.
b. Scrunch it up and use it as fire-starters.
c. Read it.

10. Buy a newspaper so you can read the...
a. News.
b. Comics.
c. Reviews.

11. When you have letters to write you...
a. Pretend you have a broken finger.
b. Forget about it.
c. Find they are long enough to enter in the Guinness Book of Records.

12. You believe you are...
a. Sensible.
b. Clever with words.
c. A masochist.

If your answers contained a majority of:
A's. Get a life.
B's. See a psychiatrist.
C's. Plan your book launch speech.

Click here to go to my Writers Bitz Blog